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Processing a Ball of Anger

Processing a Ball of Anger

One of the things I appreciate about my yoga and meditation practice is that it allows me to process information that I am receiving.

However, what do you when you find yourself unable to process any more information?

For instance, this morning, as I’m sitting in meditation processing life with ease. This humongous ball of anger comes into my awareness.

It’s too big to process all at once. But I continue to sit with it, just allowing it to be there.

Then the bell rings, signaling that the meditation session is complete.

I quickly move off of my stool, and so does this the ball of anger.

I begin to write in my journal, continuing to process this big ball of anger. The more I process, the more I begin to become aware of the information I need to share with someone.

And I need to share it because this ball of anger is a potential outcome of the future if I don’t share it.

However, I am resistant to sharing it because none of it may happen.

If so, the ball of anger will dissolve on its own, and I will no longer have to think about it.

Unfortunately for me, that’s a big IF.

What’s more, this current ball of anger is growing, and I am becoming aware of the karmic influences surrounding it.

I have to share.

Otherwise, this karmic cycle will continue to grow and become much more vicious.

Also, my window of tolerance has closed. At this moment, I am no longer capable of doing anything productive.

What’s even more frustrating is my intention for today was to meditate, do a lot of yoga and personal growth development.

Thanks to this ball of anger, I no longer control precisely how I will spend my day.

Instead, I have the following options.

  • Take on the Victim Mentality – Go online and veg out in an attempt to distract me from this ball of anger lingering and growing in my awareness.
  • Make the Empowered Choice – Share and express the information that I am processing from this with the person who needs to receive it.

At first, I reflectively chose to distract myself. I went online and started scrolling for something to take my awareness off of that ball of anger.

Thankfully, I am STRONGER than that.

Besides, the awareness of that ball of anger was too bright for me to ignore. The risk was too high to pray and hope that someone else would make a series of correct choices without them knowing what was at stake.

So I got up off the floor, went into my room, and brushed my teeth.

Then I shared the information that needed to be shared.

And I am glad I did as so much more was revealed. It opened the door to a greater sense of clarity and understanding.

More importantly, the window of tolerance is now open, and I can process this life and all that arises within it even more.

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